Back to Real Life Again

Homeward bound today, refreshed, renewed and excited about life. My head and heart are bursting with all the wonderful knowledge and tools I learned and am so ready to try! When you get focused on it, the steps to peace, joy and happiness are extremely simple. For three weeks, I heard different versions, illustrations and testimonials which drilled the principles into my mind, but the most compelling by far was the fact that I saw people living these principles and practicing them daily. I saw faces glowing, heats open, sincere compassion, honesty, vulnerability "in action". It was sort of a microcosm of what I would expect to see during the Millennium. There were people of all races, religions, ages, incomes and sizes. Their differences were transcended by the common goals and atmosphere at OHI. In a nutshell, here were the basics of the principles that resonated most with me.

We choose our own thoughts which create our perception of reality.
We can learn to change our thoughts and change our own reality for the better.
Our egos alone (not other people, places or things) are our biggest enemies and downfalls.
Every experience, emotion or thought we have resides within the cells of our bodies. It is our responsibility to understand this and work to release all negative energy they hold through forgiveness, meditation and healing techniques.
Peace, happiness and joy are available to ALL, no matter what our experiences or circumstances.
We can re-learn how to love ourselves, freeing us to really love others.
It is imperative to visualize our future, use our imagination to clearly see ourself, our circumstances and what we are doing -- because we create our future through thought and action through the laws of intention/attraction.
One of the most important tools is the discipline of spending time in an "alpha" state, meditation or prayer.
One of the most important places to start is to completely forgive ourselves and others. This is a process that can take time, but is absolutely essential to any progress.
We each have a spark of the divine within us, which makes us creatures of limitless potential -- limited only by ourselves, our habits, thoughts, choices.
There are tools and teachers who are here as guides to help s along the many pathways to change and we can find just the right one to fit our own particular taste, religion, culture and style.

Thank you God for OHI and for the privilege of my experience and the wonderful people that I met. I envision myself in the future as a missionary at OHI to serve others in helping teach what I am learning along this wonderful pathway called life.

In the Sky to OHI

Today is the beginning of my three week retreat to Optimum Health Institute in San Diego. It will be my second time, and I can't wait. I have my suitcase loaded with inspirational and spiritual books, candles, incense, great music on my ipod and my fantastic headphones. I've scheduled my various massages and colonics, a chiropractor appointment with Dr. Andy, and will work on writing some poems or learning a piano song so I can participate in the Friday night talent shows.

The thing I love about OHI is --- well -- I just love everything about it. The staff is amazing, the other guests are always fascinating -- many coming for their 20th time or more and often great stories of complete reversals of cancer and other diseases when they permanently adopt the raw foods/wheat grass lifestyle. I love the scent of the wheat grass juicing room -- you juice your own, and must have at least four ounces a day. I always have 8 or more because I love the "taste of the smell" of freshly cut grass on a warm summer day. We have two days a week of fasting, just drinking wheat grass juice and/or water. OH, I love the teachers, they are some of the absolute best, most authentic, inspirational and substantive I have heard. They practice what they preach, and so does the entire staff. There is one missionary who must be 100 at least (jk) who does yoga and works out and looks like a healthy 65 year old. The feeling at OHI is just warm, safe, positive, spiritual.

We stay very busy at OHI. We have stretch and exercise a couple of times a day then classes on self esteem, relaxation, health, et. The facility is nice, not posh. For the same program and treatments in other places you pay from $3k to $5k a week. OHI was founded on the principal that this lifestyle and knowledge should be available to "regular people" -- and that patrons would "carry the word" to ordinary people.

Don't freak out, but I will qualify for being a "missionary" at the end of my three weeks. That means I can come to OHI and spend up to three months as part of the staff for only room and board of $600 a month. I really would love that when I retire. Well, I will try to take some pics and cover my adventures in the blog.

My Granite Heart

I’m clinging to my cracked granite heart.

Burning molten sadness
is seeping
through the fissures
ripping away
my carefully constructed façade
and
scorching hopes and dreams.

What force will melt these frozen tears
Long fossilized
by artificial smiles
and carefully veneered
by pretending all is well?

Looking fearfully into the abyss
of knowing and unknowing
I’m grasping, then falling
Out of control.

The unstoppable ache in my heart
recognizes this suffering
shared by all beings
suddenly parted
from the pieces of themselves
residing within those they love
and lose.

I shall sit with this
In faith and patience
Sensing my own humanity.
Asking, listening, waiting…

Didn’t a wise man say “Prayer is the passport to peace?”

Two Odes to Joy

Ode to Joy by Jeanne

Today was the most unexpected delight.
Almost a miracle, in fact.
Impossibly perfect weather
Spurred a spontaneous drive.

My hot Ruby red Miata, top down
Both of us screaming "freedom!!"
Her engine purring perfectly,
My purple cowboy hat on tight,
Ipod blasting classical opera.
Both of us jacked up on sunshine and
Basking in the warmth on our skins.

No resistance...
No timelines...
No expectations...

Wind in my hair
Sudden flashback of my 16th summer
That elusive sense of immortality!
A glimpse of simple joy and peace
That people spend their lives and
Fortunes chasing.

Why so elusive?

Spontaneity focuses one keenly on
Living in the present.
Accepting the reality of now,
This very precious moment,
And the choice
To be there or not.

Today was a quiet celebration.
I was there.
I stepped over the rut
Of grasping and clinging
Or pushing things away --
Wishing "past" difficulties --
And fearing the future --
Or re-playing the past.

My habits were not quick enough!
Euphoria tricked the ego
And I escaped!
Then luxuriated all day
In perfect little moments,
Savoring each -- slowly
Like melting dark chocolates
One by one under my tongue.

A heavenly connection to acceptance
With how things are right here and now....
Is happiness.
Is possible.
Is woven together with grace and beauty

And found in simple truths
Taught in every country and culture
By humble enlightened messengers.

I know them.
Do you?
Why isn't the world listening?



These are the words to Ode To Joy
as sung by Opera Babes
They made me cry with joy today.

All believing, all embracing
Earth below and sky above.
There will never be a power
Greater than united love.

O light of hope enduring
Ever in our hearts reside.
Now, the time to stand together.
No man may alone abide.

All as one in every nation
By our bearing will be bound.
Peace, the true and humble treasure
Through compassion will be found.

O light of clearest vision
No illusion shall divide.
Now, the time to stand together.
No man may alone abide.

Side by side though oceans part us
One by one its understood
Day by day the dawn is breaking
On the bond of brotherhood.

O light of pure intention
All dissension cast aside
Now, the time to stand together
No man need alone abide.

EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A SHACK!

Everyone Should Have A Shack......

Well, it is hard to admit that I live here in this purple shack most of the time, even though I have a beautiful home on the mountain with million dollar views of three mountain ranges and Canyonlands.

Two years ago we recognized that Max was becoming a teenager who did not want to live in isolation on the mountain. We found that between seminary, football and debate, we were practically living at my office and even spending nights in motels. We'd sometimes get home to the mountain house at 11 pm and get up to head back to town as early as 6 am. It just was not working.

Real estate prices were skyrocketing, and there was nothing available to buy in downtown Moab. We looked for a "crash pad" for months as the real estate market went completely out of sight. Anything near $200k was gone in a day. I finally put an ad in the newspaper for a "fixer upper". No response for three weeks. One day I got a call, came and looked at the shack, and we took the plunge and bought it. You should have seen -- or even better - should have SMELLED this dump. It was completely overgrown with weeds, peeling paint, leaking everything, cement floors, roaches and a complete and total putrid disaster. But the price was right - for that time - and we felt kind of lucky getting it -- l/5 of an acre, and only four blocks from the office downtown. The bargain basement price was $165K.

We closed in three weeks and the appraisal came in at $185K. Then the heartburn began. We got the tractor and cleaned up the yard and ripped everything out of the inside. It took three dump trucks to get rid of the crap. Then over the next three months we started over. We installed all new kitchen, bathroom, hardwood floors and painted it a whimsical purple and green. We dumped money into this joint faster than Grandma used to feed the slot machines in Vegas -- all new furniture, local art work, funky tiled kitchen and bathroom, flat screened tv, etc. When we were finally exhausted and out of money, we found out that the sewer pipes had rotted, and the house was sitting on a lake of literal "shit". So, we had to dig under the house and have the whole sewer line replaced all the way to the street. Cha-ching, cha-ching. That took care of the smell and our last dime at the same time.

After we'd sunk a fortune into this shack the real estate market and economy crashed. We were left with one of the most expensive shacks on the planet. In deep gratitude for our sacrifice of time and money to create a better life for our spoiled teenager, Max says it "I hate this place, it looks like it was painted by Pixies" (true).

Funny thing is this. I love, love, love it here. The inside is simple, comfy, feminine, and most important -- super small, uncluttered and easy to clean. With my insane, demanding and stressful life, this is one thing that is really "manageable". It does not overwhelm me and send me into a panic like the big house and the increasingly impossible demands of my job. Yup, the shack is the one thing I am able to manage and keep in order. The big drawback is that I really, really miss David. He spends most nights on the mountain taking care of the dogs, yard and house there. I get up there about twice a month.

I feel on the cusp of something -- like maybe a new era is dawning. A time to simplify my life and get rid of all the "things" that are weighing me down like heavy chains. I'm a "vintage" woman. My dreams are passing me by because I am too busy to be present in my own life. What do I really want? I want to work part time, ride my cute bicycle around town, go to pilates twice a day, work on family history, go to the temple once a week, join a book club, meditate, do water aerobics, find a creative outlet, go "adventuring" spontaneously whenever I want, spend time with my wonderful husband and sleep until 9 am every day. Someday soon it will be time for ME. And this little shack is just fine, thank you!

Cousin Swirl

Wonderful 4th of July at Wannie and PopPop's house cousins, those teenagers can be so cute! Max is starting to get his smile back! J

Mary Mary

Mary, Mary


In tribute to my clever and very non-ordinary sister Heidi, and her equally contrary and colorful best friend Shahara. We found this in one of Heidi's journals, it is a perfect fit for her, and I'm glad she was exactly, unapologetically herself.

Mary, Mary
Quite Contrary
Contrary to what?
Now that’s a thought!

Cntrary to dull?
Contrary to boring?
Contrary to all that puts me to snoring?

Contrary to safe?
Contrary to normal?
Contrary to stuffed shirt and overly formal?

Contrary to tame?
Contrary to plain?

Contrary to washable, rational, sane?
Mary, Mary
I am glad you’re odd!
Very!